"Hey look at me! Pretty nice eh? Shiny yellow beak, nice orbital ring, stunning black plumage, and a lovely song to boot. What more could you possibly want in a bird? What, a stupid crest, silly curved beak and floppy wings? Don't be silly! Huh? Stupid bendy legs that are way too long for the body? And Pink? Absurd, get a grip! Trust me, Blackbirds are the way forward."