Friday 28 January 2011

The King of First-World Problems



I bought it for the kids at Halloween, not realising that my mother had bought them one each. These were duly carved, and about three days later had started growing fuzz and collapsing. Three months on and this one is still in perfect nick. Totally firm, no soft spots. Given that it cost a quid from Tescos, this is pretty good going. Could it possibly last another nine months?

Probably not, so the question is, what am I supposed to do with it? The major sticking point is that none of us like the taste of pumpkin, yet it seems wasteful to chuck it away. Today is the three month anniversary of it sitting on the kitchen counter. It's lived on the right hand side near the fridge, and has also travelled down to near the toaster. I put it in the fruit bowl, but then there was no room for fruit. Perhaps we should just have another Halloween and then chuck the festering mass away in a few days? Or buy a sniper rifle and reenact The Day of the Jackal?  I just don't know what to do.


Honestly, my life is so stressful.

10 comments:

  1. Draw a face, give it a name and welcome it to the family (a la Tom Hanks).

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  2. I may be able to help you, because we have had the exact same problem. Uncarved pumpkin steadfastly refusing to rot, we felt guilty about throwing it out, it has been moving all over the kitchen taking up space. (I don't think the ones for carving taste very good, anyway.) Before we left on vacation its latest home was the top of the refrigerator. When we returned: voila! Mold! And I could guiltlessly throw it out.

    Of course, this only works if you don't have a built-in type refrigerator. If you do... well, you suffer for having a nicer kitchen than us.

    This is probably the king of first-world problems.

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  3. Laurel, I have had to change the title!

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  4. Make pumpkin pie and deliver it to the Birdwatch office! We'll expect around 11am on Monday.

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  5. If I chuck it away, Dom/Stig can pick it up from the Tip on tuesday.

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  6. Stick a pair of bins around it and in a week it will have a blog and be submitting all kinds of crap to RBA.

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  7. Why cant you plant it in the garden Jonathan, or in a pot?.

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  8. Whilst drunk at Uni, I once threw a pumpkin out the bedroom window of my second floor student flat at my flatmates , but it unfortunately landed on a neighbours car.

    It was a good experience, and I recommend you do the same and throw it out at a high window on someones car.

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  9. Put it on the lawn and give it a smart kick wearing very soft shoes. Photograph the resultant toe damage and get this blog back on track...

    :o)

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  10. I have since noticed that this faceless beast has only 7 fingers and no thumbs.

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