Tuesday, 13 March 2012

A Wansteadian Tragedy or How a Dog-walker Made My Morning

Act I, Scene I:

An overcast Wanstead Flats; early morning.

A handsome birder is walking across the bit with the barrage hitches towards East Copse. Occasionally he raises his binoculars, scanning for non-existent Wheatears. He is silent, cooly surveying his surroundings, massively alert to both movement and sound.

Birder: -

[Enter Fuquittus, a dog-walker, stage left, and his large dog Romeo]

Romeo: Woof! Woof woof!

[Romeo runs miles away, straight across Skylark breeding habitat]

Fuquittus: Romeo! Romeo! F’kin come ‘ere Romeo!

Romeo: Woof Woof! Woof!

Birder: Hahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahaha



  1. The same scenario is being played out now at Wormwood Scrubs (swap Meadow Pipits for Skylark) and across the country. .... :(

  2. Was it Claire Danes practicing her lines in the Wanstead vernacular?