Wednesday 2 May 2012

R.I.P. Duckzilla

Friends, I have sad, sad news to report. Duckzilla is dead.

Duckzilla, an immense and statuesque Indian Runner Duck, took up residence in Wanstead Park a few months ago, presumably having been dumped here by a cretinous owner, and was most often seen on Heronry Pond terrorising Mallards and swallowing loaves of Kingsmill whole. He (or she - also known as Daisy or Chamomile to some) won many friends, and was a favourite of all park-goers. Sadly Duckzilla had wings the size of small anchovies; a Penguin was more likely to take to the air. And this has proved to be Duckzilla's undoing. Not able to fly, and unlikely to ever be called nimble, the likely cause of death is DOG ATTACK.

Poor Duckzilla was found on the side of Perch pond the day before yesterday, with legs and rump mangled. No other part of Duckzilla had been touched, so this probably rules out fox or mink, both of which would have been after a meal. A dog is thus the most likely candidate, and if I know Wanstead, the only candidate. But nobody saw what happened, so this only speculation - somebody will know though, and I hope we find out. This time Duckzilla, next time a child. Call me melodramatic, but it's true, you read it here first.

There is a certain breed of dog owner, and they like certain breeds of dog. "Certain" is an anagram of "a cretin" funnily enough. Anyhow, rarely are these dogs nice, and rarely are they kept under control. I am aware that I am like a broken record, and spend an unhealthy amount of my time writing about dogs and dog-owners, but believe me when I say that they have a lot to answer for, and nobody is prepared to do anything about it. The last time I spoke to a dog walker - very politely I might add - about the nesting Skylarks, I got a torrent of abuse back. And not from a shaven-headed lout as you might expect - no, from three outwardly pleasant-looking young women, who unbeknownst to me had massive chips on their shoulders about something. So while usually it's a minority giving the majority a bad name, in Wanstead it's about fifty fifty, and perhaps higher than that. And the death of Duckzilla is the result. Why can't we have some Surface-to-Dog missiles on the Fred Wigg Tower?


  1. Maybe it was a fox then, dogs usually shake rather than chew. I saw Duckzilla on what must have been his last day. Usually the certain dogs don't get taken as far as WP, they just stand around by my pond on the Flats and then get taken away again.

  2. As a parent who takes their children for walks in Wanstead Park, you are absolutely right to point out the dangers some of these dogs pose to children or even to the adults! I have nothing against dog owners who walk their dogs through the park, but keep your animal under control with a lead/leash!

    We can only hope the untimely death of Duckzilla will not be in vain, and one or two dog owners refrain from letting their animal roam freely amongst the local wildfowl or worse still amongst our children! Let us hope we never read on this blog or in the local paper of case involving a child.

  3. Kath - the sentiment of the post requires that it be a dog that is guilty! I most definitely have an agenda!

    1. Please DON'T stop ranting about irresponsible dog owners,I cant get enough !.


  4. Oh all right. I hate a badly behaved dog as much as the next bin wearer. Some of your patch colleagues are a bit growly...