Earning Brownie Points

Ah BPs, that essential commodity for the married birder. So hard to gain, incredibly easy to burn, and often particularly short-lived, disappearing before your very eyes seemingly without having been spent. Winter is usually the best earning period, and it's important to build up a decent stock before the onset of Spring. There is no fixed exchange rate. For instance useful tasks performed just after a very hectic birding period often earn nothing at first, so deep in the red are you, and only after a while does the counter start ticking. It may initially advance quite rapidly, even perhaps going into the black, as even the slightest of efforts is frankly amazing after such a long period of shame. But conversely, just as you think you can do no wrong and might be gaining a really solid platform, so the rate of accumulation drops, and you have to do ever more to stay level. In other words it's a mystery only understood by one significant person. The woman in your life. Now of course many birders don't have this problem, or not any more at any rate, and so the need to earn BPs is either non-existent, or but a distant hazy memory. How I envy them.

BPs in Chateau L, whilst not at an all time low, are not currently well positioned for migration at all. The end of last year was one hectic twitch after another, with five new (and distant) birds in four weeks. I've since been to Morocco twice, spent a weekend birding followed by a week working in Scotland, and also been to County Durham, Glamorgan, Gloucestershire, and twice to Kent. When not travelling the length and breadth of the land, I've been working all hours, and thus my contributions to daily life within le manoir have been somewhat minimal. So today, bar a short outing to the patch, I very sensibly stayed at home and did nice things with the family like playing scrabble and sky-watching (Peregrine and Buzzard - kerching!). Tomorrow my plans are exactly the same (though they hope to include Red Kite) and thus I hope that the BP counter may advance slightly. I might go to the dump, which is an easy run. Mind you I have a quick trip to Cyprus coming up that will undoubtedly burn any I get from this weekend and a few more besides. Perhaps I need to pack Mrs L off to Belgium quickly?

Frankly I had hoped that by this stage in the year I would be in better shape, but it has been rather busy. I am not complaining though, with four ticks in eight days during February, and the exciting periods of the year yet to come, I don't really care how many BPs it has cost! Not only that though, but this included yet another two-tick day with the Duck and the Gull. Every time I have one I say I'll probably never have one again but they seem to keep on coming. I have not done any real research into list progression, but it doesn't seem to be slowing down quite as I thought it might. The chances of ever having a positive BP balance ever again are therefore looking remote.

Holding Pattern 2

Plus ça change, plus c'est la même chose. You will perhaps have gathered that there is nothing happening. Wanstead may be drowning in Wood Warblers, but as I have been stuck indoors, I wouldn't know. I am hoping that my fellow patch-workers have taken up the mantle. Actually to be honest, they probably had it already. The mantle that is. Having said that, I have heard no gripping reports of Wood Warbler, so I'm assuming it's all quiet on the Western Front.

My toe is much better, though as you may have gathered, not better enough to go out on the patch. Not that it matters, as Mrs L is still away, and even with three working feet I would still be confined to the house. This is momentous, for reasons I will now explain. The image above is my typical Brownie Point counter. You will note that it is negative. It is always negative. No matter how much I slave, how much I cook, dust, and vacuum, I always go birding more. In my language, half an hour of dusting equals a full day birding, perhaps two. Mrs L does not, as they say, speaka my language. What's more, I can't do DIY, which I understand is a useful BP accumulation strategy. Lay a parquet floor? Yeah right. If I were to try something, I would botch it, and lose another thousand or so. Even mentioning it would probably lose me a hundred. This is known as "with intent" I believe. So it came as a huge surprise when I tentatively raised the perennial question of the BP counter with Mrs L on the phone the other night, and received a positive number! This is unheard of! Happily ensconced on her choir trip or whatever it is (extra BPs for knowing!), without any prompting she said I was in the black, in positive territory. Well blow me down!

I should break my foot more often. Even though it was my own stupid fault, doing it at the very start of the school holidays and only a day before she left on a week-long musical extravaganza has proved to be a killer strategy. Sympathy in bucket-loads, she even went shopping for me before she left, and now the ultimate accolade, a positive BP counter. I didn't think it would ever happen. Here it is, in all it's glory.

The astute among you will note that it is still negative. I am hedging my bets. Half of me still doesn't really believe it, and the half that does assumes some kind of domestic screw-up before she gets back.

Dull of Wanstead

A very dull day in Chateau Lethbridge. Our cleaner used to come on a Friday, and the house used to sparkle and smell of various products well into Saturday morning. By Saturday afternoon it would of course be back to normal, but that brief period on Friday evening and Saturday morning was much relished. These days, I am in charge, and whilst neither Mrs L nor I are under any illusions as to my capabilities in this area, I struggle to make an impression. I spent over two hours SLAVING today, and the house still looks awful. Part of the kitchen looks better than it did, but the overall impression is one of chaos. I'm hoping to go out birding tomorrow, and by the time I come back, the house will no doubt look worse than when I started.

Task - Brownie Points earned

4 Loads of Washing - 0 points
3 Loads of Washing hung up - 0 points
1 Load of Washing not hung up - minus 15 points
Asked question about potential wool item before including it - plus 1 point
Dishwasher cycle completed - 0 points
Washing-up done - 0 points
Recycling taken out - 0 points
1/3rd of kitchen cleaned, with pink spray - 0 points
Upstairs vacuumed - 0 points
Dinner cooked (for 5) - 0 points
Clean washing not put away - minus 25 points

TOTAL SCORE: minus 39 points.
Current Balance: -432

I face an impossible task, and with Spring just around the corner I am in trouble. And I have made no effort on the potty-training front either. That is a task that could well have earned me some serious points, but each time I think about starting it, something else comes up. For each week I delay it I probably lose points, so when I finally get around to it, it could well be a zero-sum gain. The trouble is I don't enjoy any of the things that could earn me those precious BPs, and I seem to spend all my time doing things that are essential, but have zero BP potential. Like cleaning and cooking. And birding.

Fast-forwarding to tomorrow, I am going to meet a reporter from ITN on Wanstead Flats for a piece they are running on the bird deaths. Unless something more interesting happens in the meantime that is, possibly involving a Z-list celebrity's cat... Almost unbelievably, they are even going to pay me for using that photo of the dead Crows in a bucket, whereas you, dear reader, get it for free (although contributions are of course welcome). Over the years I have spent a small fortune on large, heavy and cumbersome camera equipment, and never earned a single penny from it. On Tuesday morning it was all sat safe at home, well away from all the muggers, and I used my 105g 0.25 pixel phone to photograph the Crows. The photo ranks amongst the worst I have ever taken, and yet that's the one they want to pay money for. I have plenty of high quality photos of living Crows. Really nice ones, but all with a critical flaw - they are all alive, and not head down in a bucket. I don't know if I'm being interviewed, or if I'm just providing them with background info. If the former, no doubt I'll have flocked to the scene, all in a flutter....

I have no more information than I did yesterday about the poisoning. When I do, I'll post it here, or it will be on the News At Ten. One or the other. To lighten the mood though, I found this at Tescos. A piece of ginger shaped like a Scorpion. Well pleased. Don't Las Vegas Casinos buy this kind of stuff for silly money? On Ebay tomorrow....

£100,000 ovno

West Wittering & Waxwings

I have now year-ticked the West Wittering Red-breasted Goose for the last three years running. My flimsy excuse this time was that Shaun needed it for his life list. I was happy to accompany him on this pilgrimage. By 8am we had found it, and it is fair to say that it showed very well, occasionally barking like a small terrier.

Red-breasted Goose '09


Red-breasted Goose '08

We were hoping that the King Eider off Dunge might make an appearance, but no news, so we decided to go home early and cash in the day-passes for some brownie points. Could not resist some Waxwings on the route home - and they provided some stunning photo opportunities. I took 172 shots in 20 minutes, some of which I am pretty pleased with. Most birds don't give you time to plan or think, you just have to react. With the two Waxwings at Goring-by-Sea, I was able to sit down with them and discuss the light, which branches would be best, and how to pose with berries. I have now deleted all previous photos of Waxwings I have ever taken, as they just don't make the new grade.

"Is this OK? How about if I incline my head this way?"

Back home via the birdless Ingrebourne Valley, where Shaun would have me believe that Yellowhammer is regular. From what I saw, birds (of any species) might be annual, just not this year. Probably a good thing, as it means there is no point Shaun going birding and he can instead devote his time to keeping his house clean. Honestly, it was amazing (particularly compared to Ch. Lethbridge), like a show home. I think he was embarrassed about the towel drying on the radiator, but I was polite enough not to say anything, and he surreptitiously folded it away while I was running my finger along the windowsill checking for dust. I had a nice cup of tea, and sullied the kitchen by leaving the dirty mug in the sink. Still, means he had something to do before the girls came back from shopping.

Despite my surprise arrival back into the family fray by about 3pm, whereas I had not been expected until 7 at the earliest, I am apparently still on negative brownie points for the year. I have no idea how the calculation works, but the general idea is that you lose points by going out birding. I don't know how you gain them, or at least gain enough of them, to ever get to positive territory. I cleaned 2/3 of the length of one of the kitchen counters, including spraying with stuff, hoping that would get me back on level pegging. No dice.

Kingfisher! Yay!

Well, a quiet week and not much birding. Going to work all day doesn’t help of course. And neither does being ill. I spent the first two days at home feeling cruddy, though did score a presumed Lesser Redpoll on the way back from nursery on Tuesday morning. Classic call somewhere above my head as I entered Bush Wood. Redpoll ID is a funny old thing, tends to get a bit emotional. Following the Thordon CP controversy recently, I spent a bit of time reading up on Redpoll ID, in my continuing effort to become a better birder. Fat chance. Four hours or more of reading leads me to believe that trying to pin a concrete ID on a Redpoll is a hopeless task, and that you are on a hiding to nothing. Safer to call anything you see away from Shetland a probable Lesser and be done with it. It seems just a sliding scale from small and browny to massive and white, and whilst certain races are likely to be found within certain areas of that scale, getting definitive is dangerous. As the Punks say, if they are likely to stick around and be seen by others, call them Lesser, if they disappear into the distance, feel free to claim a few unimpeachable Mealy.

I digress. A quick jaunt to East India Dock on Friday picked up a wintering Black Redstart – one of the best sites in London, if not the country, for reliable sightings - and there was a Common Sandpiper in Bow Creek with the Redshank at the high-tide roost, which was a year tick. All in all a very profitable lunch hour. It needed to be, as today was almost bird-free, bar an aquamarine dart across the Heronry Pond this morning. I was out looking for the 5 Egyptian Geese that would have been a site tick for me, seen by Paul F yesterday. They were gone, but there isn't much that beats an early-morning Kingfisher really. Bee-eater perhaps? I was under strict orders from Management to be out for no longer than 20 minutes, but returned after 15 for extra brownie points. Fair enough given I buggered off to Cornwall last weekend. The life of a birder is one long balancing act.