Wednesday 31 January 2018

Fairy dust

Hot news from Chateau L - there is a possibility that the magic fairy may return, at least on a part time basis. We have recently dispensed with the services of our cleaner, it wasn't going well and was one expense too many in the age of austerity - it is not like living is becoming any cheaper. This means that the residents of this fine abode are going to need to pick up the slack, and this includes an opening for the sorely-missed fairy. There have been signs that a return may be imminent. Check this out!

Somewhere in the back of my mind I recall an outrageously long advert for a static floor duster. It went on and on and on, showing every conceivable use of such a duster, with multiple glorious slow-motion sweeps of this thing being dragged across a sea of dust and leaving a gleaming swipe of a frankly unbelievable nature. It then cut to a sparkling blonde supermodel-type housewife looking deeply satisfied with herself as she deposited the used wipe into an immaculate bin. This happened again and again for what seemed like five minutes. It was beyond ridiculous, and I have no clue where I might have seen this as I don’t ever watch television. To cut a long story short I have bought one, mainly because our ailing vacuum cleaner seems to just push dust around rather than actually suck it up. Our ex-cleaner destroyed its predecessor in the autumn, and its replacement arrived right before the building work started. In the face of such a task in all honesty I think we asked this new machine to do things it simply wasn’t capable of. It now emits a suspicious burning smell when used for more than a few minutes, and having attempted to use it on the wooden floor of the loft it seems to make almost no discernible dent in the current dust fest. I cannot bring myself to purchase yet another one so soon, and have instead bought my first ever static floor duster. It arrived yesterday and I spent a couple of minutes putting the handle together and attaching the first wipe to it.

Don’t judge us.

This is from its first use, I simply went up and down the wooden planks in the manner of a lawnmower. I could not believe it. My cynicism of advertisements has perhaps diminished a fraction, for this was almost like the image I had in my mind of the gleaming swipe. I felt like the model as I too dropped my used static wipe in the bin. How it works is beyond me, and it could be that future passes are simply not as satisfying, but given how much our house has wooden or tiled floors this could make a real difference in the never-ending fight with dust and hair. The pink scrubbing brush may be long gone, but the lime green duster could be a worthy successor.


  1. I'm just SO glad that I clicked on the link just before bed time. I may never sleep soundly ever again... :)