Monday 14 October 2013


It's only Monday, and I have nothing much to say. As usual there is no restraint, so this is a post of minor and miscellaneous items, including a great new joke I just thought of.

1) My new phone finally works just like my old phone, but is better in one key respect. The touchscreen can be used with gloves, you have to up the haptic transmission or some such gobbledegook. I have no idea if it works yet because before I thought to try it I packed my one remaining pair of gloves off to Shetland in the Braddersmobile. I join the guys on Wednesday night, so let's hope for a memorable trip with lots of haptism. And that the guys save up finding the big one for Thursday.

2) All my shirts are worn out and I am too tight to buy any more. Actually the problem is twofold. They are literally wearing out, especially around the collar and cuffs, but the other problem is that some of them are, shall we say, a little tight. Then again, many of them I bought when I started work around fifteen years ago, and I am a different person now. Perhaps two people.... I don't mind spending money, but I hate doing so on clothing, in particular work-related clothing, which is in my view money wasted. I am still able to look scruffy in nice expensive clothes, so what's the point? Other than to avoid the sad day when I have a stretch at work and my shirt cleaves in two, I cannot think of one. 

3) Here's the joke:
Q: How many birders does it take to change a long-life low-energy light bulb?
A: One, but he will have to do it every three months because they are A COMPLETE AND UTTER CON.
It's not very good, is it?

4) Apparently my reaction to badger news is called Compassion Fatigue, and is a known phenomenon. All the responses to my post have been very good, and indeed since I posted it I have probably received more badger-related tweets than ever before, so a great own goal there. The next big thing is going to be foxes by the looks of it. The Government, saviours of our countryside (for rich people who back them) and all-round nature-lovers, would appear to want to bring hunting with hounds back again. Marvellous. Seriously, when do I next get to vote? They'll be bringing back Poor Houses soon, and introducing tithes. Anyway, what we clearly need is an ageing rock star, an endless twitter campaign, and an e-petition. But then we might all forget about the badgers. A tricky one. As far I know, Badgers don't shred my rubbish bin and shit on my front path, so I'm going to vote for them in the next election. I'm sorry if that means all the foxes have to die. Perhaps they could form a coalition and ease my conscience?

5) Per my stats - the same stats that appear to go back to 2007 - this blog that I started in 2009 has now seen precisely 1000 posts. This is probably one of the worst ever, but believe me when I say that it becomes a lot more difficult the longer you carry on. During these thousand posts I have, I hope, entertained, and perhaps occasionally remained sufficiently serious to have made people think a little. I also know for a fact I have annoyed a few people; this is always easy, and comes very naturally. My personality, a complex mix of warmth, idiocy, arrogance and intolerance, cannot help but shine through. There is a certain amount of exaggeration of course, a certain amount of playing to the camera, but ultimately I am what I am, and I write what I write. And as I have always said, if you treat my writing entirely seriously, then that only makes one of us. So I hope to continue in both directions, lest I get bored, and on balance there is still probably more good than bad, more entertainment than ranting and moaning, and more smiles than frowns. Or at least that's the general idea.

And finally, no blog post would be complete without a nice photo. Sorry, image, what was I thinking? Clearly in a post so littered with filler and padding it would be very wrong of me to post one that was in any way relevant to the subject matter, so here is one that bears no relation to anything at all. I've entitled it "A work in progress", mainly because it is a work in progress, and there is still work to be done. Just like this blog. I reckon I'm getting somewhere with the photo though.

A work in progress


  1. Not only are the bulbs a con but when the government were going to remove the subsidy from the energy companies for providing them to the consumers the utilities promptly sent 4 of each to their customers without saying that they would be on your bills over the coming year or so and everybody thought it was a kind gesture 4 x freebie bulbs!

    Heat or eat?

    Hope the Shelties stay good for your trip...

    Laurie -