Monday 7 November 2016

Going soft?

A number of my posts recently have mentioned ageing and middle age, mostly in the context of being rather busy. But not in the context of going soft. As I got into bed one day last week after another regular day of honest toil, I noticed Mrs L’s nose was buried in something about heated blankets. I mean that’s bad enough, but this was one of those review comparison websites. What is the electric blanket with the best features? Features, pfff, honestly…..

Pah!” I scoffed. "My parents have electric blankets on their beds! They are for old people!" Admittedly it was a little on the chilly side versus the weather of late but I am a birder, hardened and tough. I think nothing of standing around for hours on chilly exposed hillsides waiting in vain for rare departed hirundines.

She looked up from the tablet and countered “Well I could just get one for my side.

I wiggled my cold toes for a moment. “But how would a single one stay on? It would slip off surely? Best get a double one, and I just won’t use my half.

It arrived last week and I disdainfully helped to put it on and plug it in. 90 quid? What a con, boy did they see you coming etc etc.

[…]

Oh my God it is wonderful. I won’t bore you with all the, err, features, but there is one setting which lasts just 15 minutes and delivers some kind of magma-based supercharge to the bed. If you flip the switch just prior to evening teeth brushing and the pulling on of cozy pyjamas it is a delight to get into. It is almost impossible not to emit a pleasing “aaaahh” sound when you get under the cover. I am at a loss to understand why we did not do this years ago, it is literally the best thing that we have ever bought. I now find myself looking forward to going to bed. Indeed it is not helping my lack of time as I look at my interminable list of things I think I need to do and then decide to hell with it and get into bed instead. “Mmmmmmm”.

Mrs L did remark that we were now officially old, but I think I have always said that you need to embrace the passing of time. This is not going soft, this is just part of the natural progression of things.

So yesterday I ordered some slippers.

5 comments:

  1. Got extra nasal and ear hair Jono? Urine stream now just a weak dribble? No, thought not.

    You're still young my son...

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Oh dear, this is me all over, including the hair extensions. My missus has also just bought me a pair of slippers - 50 quid! Very comfy, though

      Delete
    2. Fancy sharing a bag of Werther's originals Neil?

      Delete
    3. My slippers have arrived, to the general amusement of all other residents. I care not, they are wonderful.

      Delete
  2. Guys, I will look out for all of these things. Ear hair? What's the point of that?

    ReplyDelete