Hello! Note the title - at this rate of blogging updates will indeed be quarterly... not what I had intended at all, I was nearly (but clearly not quite) on a roll but it turned out the leader of the free world had other ideas, and being the massive asshole that he is he has once again turned my job from being merely 'trying' to 'virtually impossible'. Thank You Donald for all you do for us. To call the current US President a moronic cretin would be severely undercooking it. Words quite often fail me when thinking on the one hand about Donald Trump, and on the other what the office of the President of the United States ought to mean. He is disgracing it. I'm hesitant to even call what is happening now a new low, there are innumberable instances of unpresidential, childish and often immoral behaviour each and every day. And in respect of the current drama playing out, quite frankly Iran has his number. You and I know it, they know it, and most importantly he knows it. Hence the tantrums, for that is what they are. He's basically ruined 2026 at this point, the repurcussions, some of which have yet to even start, will reverberate around the world for the rest of year even if this all stopped tomorrow.
Moving on, spring in Wanstead has been slow to start. The annual Wheatear competition has been and gone. I did not win. That prize went to James who picked the 24th, and to Louis who for the second year running found the first bird. My dates were the 16th and the 27th. The 16th is a top top date, with something like 75% of the last few years being on this date, but this year things were late and in truth we have yet to get going. That first Wheatear remains almost the only Wheatear at this point, and we wondered for a while whether we might have to roll the competition to the autumn. There have been a few single Sand Martins, but that is vitually it. I say virtually as there has been one other migrant, found by yours truly a few days ago and actually knocking Wheatears very much into a cocked hat.
Osprey!
I can count on one hand the number of Ospreys I've ever seen on the patch. This was the fourth, and the second I've found, the first being donkey's years ago in the autumn. I'd just been chatting to Simon about how shit it was and was headed home. Shortly after we headed out separate ways he had had a Red Kite, and it was in scanning for this once I'd seen his message that I picked up the Osprey. It came in from the east, seemingly carrying something in one talon. It circled the church for a while, gaining height, and then gradually drifted north, having dropped whatever it was carrying. If anyone finds a fish in their back garden this is why. My year list remains shockingly low, with no other migrants and whole pile of missing winter visitors as once again I was a little lacklustre at the start of the year. Plus ca change.
I suppose that March can always be a little slow, April is where it is at. What makes it more disappointing - Ospreys not withstanding - is that I actually made an effort. I was spurred to do so by a 'steps' competition at work during the month of March - 10,000 steps a day and a load of money raised for charity. Not wishing to let my team down I signed up, but unless I go birding on Wanstead Flats before work there is absolutely no way I can do that many steps a day. At most my commute equates to about 5,000. Walking around the office and a certain amount of walking around the house before and after work might net another 2,000 but I'd always be falling short. Hence I had to go out. And what did I see that was noteworthy? One Wheatear and one Osprey 360,000 steps for one expected bird and one good bird. I don't like those ratios, but at least I cleared the 310,000 steps hurdle and didn't let the side down. Some of my colleagues failed miserably, others went absolutely nuts - one lady was on course to get over a million steps the last time I looked at the leaderboard. Incredible.
March, or at least late March, also means my first forays out into the garden and greenhouse to see what damage winter has inflicted on my precious plants. Boy what a mess. Initially I couldn't face it, I didn't even want to look in the greenhouse, but I am over that hump now. I started indoors and spent an entire weekend cleaning the conservatory. One plant at a time, corner by corner, sill by sill - 18 hours of toil. The following weekend I started on the outside. The Yuccas and Palms got tidied up first, then the lawn (or what used to be a lawn anyway), then the areas underneath the larger trees. The hoses are back out, the timer is connected, bedding plants have been purchased, an unruly shrub has gone and the big fern near the greenhouse that was in the way has been transplanted to a shady and out of the way spot.
Late on day three I finally made it into the greenhouse, I couldn't avoid it any longer. Wow. Not a disaster by any means with most plants still very much alive, but what a mess. Pests everywhere, scale insect and mealy bug mostly. Spiders, snails, evidence of mice, grime everywhere. The worst part was the fungus. The various sap-sucking insect pests don't in truth do a whole lot of damage to my plants, which are generally hard leaved and tough to penetrate. But they deposit sugary insect-poo underneath where they feed, which is often other leaves of the same plant, or indeed other plants. In damp and humid conditions this deposit allows for the growth of a dark fungus which hardens on the surface of the leaf and prevents photosynthesis, thus weakening the plant. This in turn may allow the original pests to feed more easily, and breed. And let me tell you, mealy bugs and scale insects make rabbits look celibate. Over the course of the winter months they can fully cover the leaves of a plant and the toothless insecticides of 2026 can do virtually nothing to stop them. Fortunately there is another solution, a very basic but very time-consuming solution. It involves armoured gloves (as my plants are extremely unforgiving), a brush, water, and washing up liquid. Fairy to be precise.
So over the course of two full days over consecutive weekends I carried each and every plant out into the garden and brushed the insects off by hand. Mealy bugs sit mostly on the underside where leaflets meet the rachis. Scales insects can be anywhere. So each stem, each leaf, had to be held steady with one hand, and then brushed with the other on both sides. Mealy bugs come off immediately and are often simply crushed by the stiff bristles. Scale insects can take a number of passes - they are like a little barnacle. The fungus on the other hand requires repeated brushing to remove, and only really works when the leaves are dry. Stubborn patches have to be removed by scraping with a harder tool. Pick up plant from the benching, walk outside, sit or stand whilst brushing every stem, every leaf, every surface. Once clear of bugs, spray with a 10:1 mixture of water to Fairy Liquid in every crevice, connection, spine and petiole. Replace in the greenhouse and start on the next plant. You can see why this has taken days and days, but it is now done and the season can start. There remains of course some reorganisation still to do, but it's incidental to the main event.
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| Can you imagine cleaning all of these leaves by hand? I can. |
Anyhow, most of this is now behind me and I can start doing smaller jobs and enjoying it. More importantly with the bulk of the intense work done I can get out on the patch each morning without feeling guilty that the garden is in a state. The Easter weekend is nearly upon us (Ed. It has passed, the feckless author of this blog spent about a week writing this post and is now behind again) and I am looking forward to it a great deal!
